I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
