apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize