No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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