So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
