Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Small penises have feelings too.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
