Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
