there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
