It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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