So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
As shirtless as possible
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
