A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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