rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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