I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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