literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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