we have officially lost it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
