i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize