I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
