I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
