well I can't set my house on fire every night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
