Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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