is your mom at the bar?
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
