Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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