he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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