If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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