i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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