Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
last night I used snow as a chaser
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