Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
