YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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