3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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