The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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