Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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