well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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