you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize