Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
