that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
