dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
