The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
