i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
