Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
