i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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