I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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