Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
high people should be assigned attendants
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
