My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And then he peed in my hair
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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