Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
