I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
