So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
