Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
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Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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