All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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