the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
