remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
