This girl is more easily done than said...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Boobs are out for the taking
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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