wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize