mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
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He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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