Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
