he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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