porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
