We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
