he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
