doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
