Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
