I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
