do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
