my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
