I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize