That's intense
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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