thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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