Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
