I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This house was built for laser tag.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
