If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
